After 171 days of the challenge, I feel bored.
Yes, you hear me.
There are days when I found hard to extract “interesting things” on a boring day. There are days when I was too emotional to share intimate stuff on this platform. There are days which were too fun and I don’t have time to write them down… And there are days I just simply lack the motivation to do it.
There are a lot of reasons behind it. To keep you understood in the simplest way: I feel bored about doing this vague journaling challenge.
April 21-22 Weekend Beginning
I did try to make the journaling thing inspiring and motivational.
You could see at the beginning I wrote some great posts: keep doing, eating disorder, introvert, etc. However, those posts with good content need one who constantly gets input. During that time, I was going through a depression period and was doing self-help. That was strong motivations.
I am the type of person who craves for change and variety. Self-help topic is always one of my passions, but not the only one. When I am feeling better and peaceful, I write more, but I am feeling extremely down or anxious, I don’t want to write at all.
Therefore, I want to change topics.
Inspired by Refinery29’s Try with Lucie, this week I choose a topic:
- At the weekend day – declare reasons to do, collect background info (benefits/drawbacks), and
- During the five days – consistently do it, no matter small or large, weird or normal
- At the last day –
And I will do it in a mix of languages – English and Mandarin~
April 21-27 Ideas
- Write a python program introducing myself
- Write a virtual chatting program portending computer as the therapist
- Write a movie/TV review touching people’s heart
- Do an infographic
- Write advertising copy
- Do an audio writing
- 5 Days of cook
- 5 Days of exercise
- 5 Days of self-compassion
- 5 Days of no diet coke
- 5 Days of taking a picture
- Do a documentary about self
- 5 Days of journaling
- Create names from A-Z
- Write a reflection paper
- Write gratitude letters to people I treasure
0428 Saturday Reflection
The more time I spend on thinking about creative ideas to accomplish, the more they come. The more they come, the more I dream about accomplishing them instead of writing them down.
What this exercise makes me realize is that I am a person with vivid imagination ability and a craving for change and variety. I always think about ways to present information in a different, better way, and this process takes me so much time. Therefore, I tend to procrastinate and forgot to finish.
What also makes me realize is that I need the audience to show my work. Every time I got excited about it, I want to share with someone and get them excited too. However, writing here with no people to read, I lack the motivation again. Sometimes, I don’t even know why I am doing this instead of telling you that I have a fantastic weekend: Friday I met my best American friends and ate Japanese Don. We shared a lot of interesting stories and de-stressed with each other; Saturday after a short period of study, I celebrated my 2-year anniversary in Rudy’s BBQ and watched Avenger: Infinity War with Frank. Ouuuu! the movie was!!!!!!! SPEECHLESS!
See? I am a spontaneous person. I do whenever I feel I want to write whatever I feel. Rigid structure hampers my personality. I need freedom, I need people, I need a change.
After years of crisis and self-discovery, I feel I more and more want to live in a way, not others wish me to be, but I want to be. I don’t want to spend the rest of years learning and working on things I could never be expert at them (design, coding), instead of my strengths with high potential to success (interpersonal relationships, career coach, writing).
Therefore, I have to take a pause of this challenge, for the second time.
As this semester almost ends, my junior year almost ends, I need time to think about my next step.
And the next time I come back, there will be another version of me, with more commitment, more authenticity, and more passions.