Challenge26:5 days of Ideas – Reflection: Time to Pause

After 171 days of the challenge, I feel bored.

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Yes, you hear me.

There are days when I found hard to extract “interesting things” on a boring day. There are days when I was too emotional to share intimate stuff on this platform. There are days which were too fun and I don’t have time to write them down… And there are days I just simply lack the motivation to do it.

There are a lot of reasons behind it. To keep you understood in the simplest way: I feel bored about doing this vague journaling challenge. 


 April 21-22 Weekend Beginning

I did try to make the journaling thing inspiring and motivational.

You could see at the beginning I wrote some great posts: keep doing, eating disorder, introvert, etc. However, those posts with good content need one who constantly gets input. During that time, I was going through a depression period and was doing self-help. That was strong motivations.

I am the type of person who craves for change and variety. Self-help topic is always one of my passions, but not the only one. When I am feeling better and peaceful, I write more, but I am feeling extremely down or anxious, I don’t want to write at all.

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Therefore, I want to change topics.

Inspired by Refinery29’s Try with Lucie, this week I choose a topic:

  • At the weekend day – declare reasons to do, collect background info (benefits/drawbacks), and
  • During the five days – consistently do it, no matter small or large, weird or normal
  • At the last day –

And I will do it in a mix of languages – English and Mandarin~


April 21-27 Ideas

0422

  • Write a python program introducing myself
  • Write a virtual chatting program portending computer as the therapist

0423

  • Write a movie/TV review touching people’s heart
  • Do an infographic
  • Write advertising copy
  • Do an audio writing

0424

  • 5 Days of cook
  • 5 Days of exercise
  • 5 Days of self-compassion
  • 5 Days of no diet coke
  • 5 Days of taking a picture

0425

  • Do a documentary about self
  • 5 Days of journaling

0426

  • Create names from A-Z

0427

  • Write a reflection paper
  • Write gratitude letters to people I treasure

berchtesgaden-alpine-watzmann-berchtesgaden-national-park-957002.jpeg0428 Saturday Reflection

The more time I spend on thinking about creative ideas to accomplish, the more they come. The more they come, the more I dream about accomplishing them instead of writing them down.

What this exercise makes me realize is that I am a person with vivid imagination ability and a craving for change and variety. I always think about ways to present information in a different, better way, and this process takes me so much time. Therefore, I tend to procrastinate and forgot to finish.

What also makes me realize is that I need the audience to show my work. Every time I got excited about it, I want to share with someone and get them excited too. However, writing here with no people to read, I lack the motivation again. Sometimes, I don’t even know why I am doing this instead of telling you that I have a fantastic weekend: Friday I met my best American friends and ate Japanese Don. We shared a lot of interesting stories and de-stressed with each other; Saturday after a short period of study, I celebrated my 2-year anniversary in Rudy’s BBQ and watched Avenger: Infinity War with Frank. Ouuuu! the movie was!!!!!!! SPEECHLESS!

See? I am a spontaneous person. I do whenever I feel I want to write whatever I feel. Rigid structure hampers my personality. I need freedom, I need people, I need a change.

After years of crisis and self-discovery, I feel I more and more want to live in a way, not others wish me to be, but I want to be. I don’t want to spend the rest of years learning and working on things I could never be expert at them (design, coding), instead of my strengths with high potential to success (interpersonal relationships, career coach, writing).

Therefore, I have to take a pause of this challenge, for the second time.

As this semester almost ends, my junior year almost ends, I need time to think about my next step.

And the next time I come back, there will be another version of me, with more commitment, more authenticity, and more passions.

 

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Clear

A 20-year-old ENFP looking for likely-minded people

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