Keyword for this week: Turmoil
Well, I watched the movie Game Night tonight. The alleged thriller, rated R movie is actually great. I laughed, I awed, and I appalled. Every element is included: love, laughter, horror, mystery, tear… The only thing I feel weird is too many surprises. When the director tried to give too much, the surprise lost its magic. (Also, why Racheal McAdams was in so many movies and was in lead character, but still not got the fame?)
Austin is so ready for the summer. Today’s cloudy weather with depressing humidness disturbed people’s moods, suggesting the upcoming of Monday. Serena had an emotional outburst today. She was so so so unhappy. She cried to me and told me that she already got everything: a summer job, a relationship….why, why she’s not happy at all? She doesn’t want to start the school. She needs her mom…
I know you are scared. I know. Not just because of my great empathy, but also because I had the same question in the past two years. I felt everything was pointless and kept chasing external, short, superficial happiness. The problem is those are not I truly want. My inner self was never nourished.
I told her you to need to find what brings you happiness. And only you could find the answer. It’s the pain of growing up, but after that, you will know what I mean the sincere joy. I will be with you.
The first day of school, I felt extremely tired. A full day of study, homework, emotional drama, theatre rehearsal, interview preparation… with a bad sleep yesterday, I felt so exhausted.
Going some emotional crisis I have to say. Nothing happens to me directly but everything happens to anyone around me. Frank is wondering what he truly wants in the relationship and in a self-doubt crisis. Things about future and uncertainty make both of scared. I got a non-profit internship but was waiting and also actively applying others. On Wednesday I have to do the first theatre show for the semester…
But the most important question is that I felt disconnected with the inner self.I am always good at relationships. Frank needs the feeling of acknowledgment, approval, and respect. I just naturally know that and gives him without mentioning; I am good at discovering people’s uniqueness so I often offer life/self-discovery suggestions right to the point. Those are things I want to share with the world. However, my thoughts and skills are not heard…
I want to be a writer, a designer, a performer, a motivational speaker, a communicator and a connector. It’s the thing I truly want to do but I always ignore it. Instead, I follow the large group without great self-awareness…
Half a semester went away. Here are things I feel needed to record:
- Agency – we worked with a Tesla carpool start-up this semester. I did a sales pitch, designed infographics, and will assist in future tabling. As a student in this 40 Acres, I sometimes don’t realize how the outside world is changing aggressively.
- Internship – marketing is everything and nothing. Each very interview is an opportunity to see a different company culture and each industry looks for a different aspect of marketing. So, always be ready for surprises.
- Study – constant homework projects come up and get me overwhelmed. However, what I learned always inspire me to come to the class. In my marketing research class, though only learning basic analysis, we connect the knowledge with real life. We discuss Facebook data corruption, we research digitalization’s psychological impact on students… In my management class, I learned a lot about influence, management, and personality. What makes me most proud is that I initiated the interview with a real client, lead members, and take responsibility and consideration.
- Theatre – we created the brand-new interactive, entertaining, and informative I like, Like you show! It focuses on communications in relationships. We invite the audience to discuss, provide stuff for importune performance, and join to be the performer to support our character. What makes me most proud is that my performance resonates them and connects them emotionally without words. They laugh as I laugh, sigh as I sigh…
- Mental Health – the greatest accomplishment is the flyers I designed being published and posted on Facebook! This community is amazing because everyone brings the true self and support each other, as if there is an invisible string tie us together. So adorable each one!
Fantastic night. We performed the ILLY first time this semester. Although as a perfectionist, I feel there has a lot of things need to improve… audience enjoy the performance and engage with us!
Interestingly, I feel I’ve done a lot of things but felt nothing.
Friday is always my emotional unleash day.
My friend and I had a serious conversation today about how the Youtube channel’s going. We finally agreed our goal: to share not to get more followers. She told me if she wants followers, in her strategical mind, she will contact an agency and get famous first, instead of doing these meaningless work. And I do know she understands me and gives me time, I just feel my creativity needs some break from the “strict deadline pressure.” There are conflicts and when we address and agree to solve them, things will get better. It’s more about working together toward a goal and accommodate others’ needs.
The interesting thing is that after I shared this story with my partner, he said how bad communicator I was. I am so self-focused when asking for my needs instead of considering ways to make the other happy. Well having empathy does not mean practicing care.
Such an emotional season. Everyone is thinking about future and worrying about uncertainty.