Today is Chrismas Eve~~

For an international student whose parents are in China, I cannot like most Americans have a family reunion; however, I do share the same Chrismas spirit, to be grateful and happy.

Wish you have a great holiday, with your loved and cherished ones:).


1217 Sunday

Sunset69

I saw another the most beautiful sunset of my entire life.

The sunset looks like an art from Impressionism in the 19th century. The sun in winter disappeared earlier and faster, leaving the pure and bold dark pink clouds blending with the darker blue sky and creating distinct and highly contrast brushes.

Apologize for my limited English language ability to describe the mixed enlightening and soothing feeling. I wish I took a picture and show you because that’s the happiest, and the only happy moment of the day.


1218 Monday

ENFP70

On Zhihu(Chinese version of Quora), I found one question What is ENFP’s personality?  And here is my answer:

Extraverted Intuition外向直觉——“探索”。喜欢稀奇古怪的东西,喜欢探索外部世界的奥秘,然后从无序中自己整理出来顺序,发现别人发现不了的东西

Introverted Feeling内向情感——“真实”。做选择的时候,终于自己的内心。无论别人说有多好有多好,如果不自己亲身去体验一番,然后问问自己的内心“你喜欢吗?你感觉怎么样,”是不愿意去将就的。

Extraverted Sensing外部感觉——“有用”。当我处于焦虑的时候会抛弃前两者,我会抛弃前者两个功能,去追求一些具体的,实在的,熟悉的东西。比如说当我特别迷茫不知道要选择什么专业什么职业的时候,我就选了大家都觉得很好,父母潜移默化灌输给我的商科。

Introverted Thinking内心思考——“记忆”。这是我们ENFP最最最大的弱项,对我来说就是丢三落四吧,从来不知道自己的手机钥匙钱包上一秒丢到了什么地方。还有很多无助的时候,尤其是我觉得自己一文不值的时候,我总是会忘记自己曾经做过的成就啊,那些值得骄傲的瞬间。

I suddenly realized that how much talents I as an ENFP have. Growing up in the standardized Chinese education system, I could not find myself and fit in the surroundings in the middle and high school years.

How I wish someone could tell me, that my curious, creative, sensitive, emotional, strongly-opinionated, brave characters are unique, worthy, and deserved to exist. Then, I could start to contribute to the world and share my power earlier.


1219 Tuesday

Waiting71

I am sitting in the library, waiting for my final, final exam.

It is near the end and most of the students have done their semester, so there were only a few “left-over” students, making the “the used to be the crowdest” ground floor looking so spacious.

Waiting to finish the semester, waiting to write 2017 reflection, waiting to start a new journey and embraces the opportunities.


1220 Wednesday

Control72

I finally opened myself to my roommate about eating disorder.

Besides care, support, and sympathy, she, like other people always said that I should have someone to watch me. When I tried to explain the uselessness:

“Just give up the control,” She said something really insightful, “you are a patient; a patient’s job is to lie there and wait for someone to take care of you.”

Wait, for these years, the only thing I want to but can not is to get control of my life.  I learn to stop binging, make friends, and show gratitude to myself, but always want to do alone, do myself.

Ultimately, I still want the control.

Let’s see, if that’s working. Let my roommate, my boyfriend, my parents to decide when I eat. Let people who I trust to help me.

Enough

Thoughts, lessons, important things to remember after therapy

I am authentic

Authentic to myself and others

I am inquisitive

Inquisitive about the world and willing to share

I am smart

Smart enough to communicate and connect

I am worthy

I am good enough

Enough

 


1221 Thursday

Movie73

I watched Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

Not a super fan of Star War, I still got the essence of it: keep fighting and never losing hope. Marvel Superheros, the Statue of Liberty, ways of self-promotion… all things I experienced in this three years made me understand the idea of I CAN  is deeply rooted in Americans’ minds.

jedi


1222 Friday

Dinner74

Not used to eating with people older than me, I had a Chinese traditional dinner with two Geo Phds.

Here is the takeaway: Hanging out with NT/ST people personalities different from you are as interesting as with your NF friends.

They shared some funny stories about UT’s nerdy, witty, handsome professors in the Geo department. Those things I seldom talk with my cohort (we usually dive into some deep, serious level).

I just want to say, the analytical and logical ways of thinking bring different perspectives to your world. And in return, I share my feelings and discovery of the life to them, too.

Glad to step outside.


1223 Saturday

Town75

A little road trip to the German town in Texas – Fredericksburg!img_2679

A small town full of German immigrants at the old times. The town is so, so small that there is basically one main area with few souvenir shops, and the fire and police departments are in the center.

A lot of shops are closed (guess the tourists cannot sustain locals’ living). However, there are a design and art shop, just like the Metropolitan Museum of Art shop in  New York.

At last, we went to a fancy restaurant located in the stylish furniture store and had a fresh Power Bowl lunch.

 

 

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