I’d like to share an App called MoodTrack Diary.
Every time you log in, just rate your mood and enter the thoughts. The app will automatically create a timeline for you to review.
My psychology professor taught me an important lesson: Things you feel internally motivated, aka Intrinsic Motivation, are shaped by external environments at the first place.
When you pursue an activity for the pure enjoyment of it, you are doing so because you are intrinsically motivated. Your motivations for engaging in the behavior arise entirely from within rather than out of a desire to gain some type of external rewards such as prizes, money, or acclaim.
Of course, that isn’t to say that intrinsically motivated behaviors do not come with their own rewards. These rewards involve creating positive emotions within the individual.
Weird feelings actually… your behaviors and motivation could be reinforced and trained.
I kept my yoga mat in the closet outside of the classroom for weeks. Today I finally got the chance to attend the last yoga class, only finding the mat was stolen!
If I don’t have a yoga mat, I have to use the shorter Pilate plastic mat. Very uncomfortable and a little embarrassing to use…
The strange thought just came out nowhere. I know my conditioned mind was tricking me to leave.
Which is more important for you? The embarrassment or full body relaxation your every single muscle craves for?
So I stayed.
And it felt so good to realize my body tensions.
My psychology class asked this question:
In these turbulent times, we can all use uplifting! What gives your life purpose or meaning? What gives you a sense of fulfillment? What gets you out of bed in the morning or keeps you going when times are tough? Where or how do you find peace and comfort, joy and fun in your life?
And here is my answer…
The last midterm day before final, rainy, and cold. What a turbulent day to the life purpose question!
Let me first answer some simple questions. The things motivate me out of bed in the morning and forces away from bed at night are study and breakfast. For the study, I am always curious about the world and want to learn more. For food, breakfast is the only meal that has all my favorites – eggs, pancake, hash brown, fruits, coffee, sometimes Chinese cream bun, sometimes tuna salad…
Things make me find joy is films and theatre where I emphasize the characters with emotions as if I were them. It also gives me imaginative power. Same is theatre. In our interactive theatre performance, we would collect background settings from the audience, with seconds preparation and jump into different characters. I felt so happy and empowered when audience took deep breaths or made huge laughs as they emotionally connected with my performance.
Things I feel peace is doing yoga. The one hour of stretching the body is actually very painful; however, after the process, I could feel the connection with my body and full relaxation.
Things I will do when times are tough is journaling and positive self-talk. I love languages and words. Through my pen, I feel I am feeding my turbulent emotions and thoughts with comfort, love, and care.
Things I find fulfillment is public speaking. I enjoy standing on the stage with eyes focused and spreading messages I want to share.
Things I find self-worth is talking and giving advice to my friends. I like “probing” their uniqueness, telling them in a funny way, and watching their Girl you know me faces with appreciation and excitement.
My life purpose is to experience and then express, whether, through letter grade on the transcript, character portrayal on the stage, writing, speaking, sharing… Communication and creativity are the two most important elements. There is no a specific definition of life meaning and I am still exploring different things. However, I am very happy about that. I am happy I am always discovering and waiting to share my valuable thoughts with the world.
As a southerner in China, I did not have much experience with snow. Nor did I expect to see it in Austin, at such South of United States.
When I was driving home, suddenly it “rained,” with not the usual speed and noise, however. It was only when several white ice grains bouncing onto my window and making beautiful noises that I realized – it snowed!
Later it snowed heavily.
Just want to say here: the warmest feeling is to sit on my new-bought blue carpet inside with cozy music revolving and watch snowflakes silently floated on my window.
Peace and serenity.
It was such a blast day.
In the morning’s therapy session, my therapist asked me to look around the environment – outside the window, the sun shed light through leaves and a bird sat on the tree brushing its fur; she also asked me to talk with my inner frightened child – it is ok, it is safe. Don’t be afraid of the peace. I will protect you.
For such a long time I have not felt this peace with my inner self. The unfamiliar feeling was a little bewildering and terrifying. I felt my defensive thoughts – you should do something! It is not ok to show this way, you will get hurt, nobody loves you complaining – were standing around my wounded heart, ready to jumping out and protect it anytime.
But I followed the advice and took deep breathes, infusing fresh air into my body and supporting my wounded heart to be stronger and calmer.
Then what else happened?
I had warm Korean soup for lunch, spent the best noon with my future roommate, visited the half-price bookstore, got inspiring Gone with the Wind, watched the Justice League, had dinner with my boyfriend….
There were several times I had binged urges and negative thoughts again, but after taking care of my inner self in the morning, my inner part supports me to be more mindful and live in the moment.
I believe in myself. And I need to give more support and love to my inner self.
I’m so so grateful for having such a stress-free and binge-free day.
What’s the life without classes?
Could not be better.
I started to seriously record every tiny thing I feel grateful: a taco restaurant, beautiful sunset, a little nap, room cleaning… Those chores and normal living minors now become such adorable!
The more I pay attention, the more beautiful I discover;
The more I appreciate, the more positive thoughts infused into my brain;
The more peace my body is feeling, the fewer binge thoughts occur.
Today, I want to add one more element to my inspire challenge – to discover things and inspire my body and mind.
Because those things remind me that life is full of hope and beauty, and I should not let food take away from my fantastic every day.