A list I wrote at the end of my Freshman year things I accomplished:
- Joined Community Service Fraternity APO
- Joined Chinese Students & Scholars Association
- Had a crush with someone
- Got attention from someone
- Praised as “social queen”
- Disliked by girls because of gossip
- Got into emotional eating
- Experienced an unforgettable spring break
- Found a best friend
- Found my first boyfriend
- Found having my Airbnb friends
- Faced my desire for someone, not truly liking
- Said no to religion but kept friendship
- Started to recognize and accept me
- Found something I could contribute to the world
The first open rehearsal workshop that invited my friend Keyun! Even though we didn’t finish the whole show in 75 minutes, we got some really great feedback from three lovely audiences.
I am mentioning my friend here because she is the only one NT/F person in our whole group and the only person except me who is a non-theatre major undergraduate.
The more involved in theatre performances, the more you will realize how dominant NF people in the theatre department. NF are those who are sensitive, feeling-oriented, abstract thinking, and inspirational. They could easily understand different emotions, interpret different characters, and usually just “feel” with it. However, as one person shifts toward to T-thinking, the person just like my friend Keyun, will analyze the performance more with logic and facts. Thinking-orient ones are very objective; they use their intuition to “feel,” but use the brain to interpret goals, underlying messages, promotion mechanism, etc.
I am so glad that she accepted my invitation and offered a different perspective to our show. Kind of bringing a little “cruel” reality and dragging us back to the ground.
Most importantly, I appreciate my ability to jump out of the performance and analyze this situation. Understanding each person’s characteristics clearly helps me understand why he or she is behaving that way, and from that, I am able to communicate most efficient in his or her way.
The last school day before Thanksgiving!
The last exam before Thanksgiving!
The last day before New York!
I feel actually exhausted… Got my car inspection checked, got my large-non-fit jacket picked up at the mall, drove back to school and “studied” …
Finally, it’s done!
Sitting in the airport waiting for the flight to Newark 2 hours later. Alone.
How am I feeling right now?
A little anxious.
I sit in the coach, facing toward the hallway in which travelers are busy walking past, with left hand holding the standard “airport” coffee – white cup, black top, and the burning protection brown sleeve, and right hand dragging their 20-inch suitcase.
At my right side, a girl probably the same age as me, with her head down, is playing with the phone to spend some time off. At my left side, there is a family with two young boys. Mom is cuddling the younger one and asked if he wanted your bagel,” and Dad’s reading a magazine and listening to this little talk with a smile on his face.
The sun starts to come out, shredding warm light through the glasses on the ground. Thanks to the caffeine that finally starts to work, I do not have to suffer from lack of sleep anymore (went up super early today, at around 5:30).
I always use airport/travel as a time for reflection, because the time you are in the air, the airport you are in, does not belong to anywhere.
You are leaving a place, doing a little pause, and say a short goodbye; that place does not belong you anymore.
However, you have not arrived at the new place; the new place also does not belong you either.
Just like a vacuum container, an air raid shelter, a secrete seclusion, you lost connections, associations with the external world and that disconnection make you anxious especially when you have not connected with your internal self.
Interestingly, internet and social media are developed and serve as an antidote for this isolation. People keep browsing and swiping, trying to distract their thoughts from the reality. However, those distant, enormous information only remind us how lonely we are and bring us to the deepest emptiness especially when seeing pictures people having fun, laughing hard, and enjoying their “fantastic” life….
That’s the reason why I should stop writing now.
I need to connect myself. To remind me what brings me here, who am I, and what I am looking for, again, and again….
New York Day1
See my post.
New York Day2
New York Day3
New York Day4