1022 Sunday

Design13

I don’t like drawing, creating portraits, sketch at all, but I do like arrange, play with layouts, different fonts, sizes, colors…

Today after excessive amount of sleep, I immersed myself into Adobe Illustrator and created several link cover for my portfolio – later I could write my reflections as a person who holds only one major but never stops exploring interesting courses to enrich myself, to let my creativity both through words and images unleash (Oh gosh I love this word so much)


1023 Monday

Overthinking14

1)I met with my mental health coordinator and did a mid-semester check-in. She told me some my uniqueness – a thoughtful person.

2)At the night walking to the bus station with Amissa, I told her how much I am jealous of Will’s energy, that sometimes I have to put a mask because I want to influence people.

“But deep inside you still have it, right (the carefree, energetic character)? “

Well, that it occurs to me: do I believe that I have somewhat responsibilities, just like the superheroes given superpower destined to give up their normal lives and save the world?

Haha, I am just THINKING TOO MUCH! I want everyone to be happy. I have to learn to be happy first so that I could share how to do that:) It doesn’t have to always to vulnerable; so many ways I could do this!


1024 Tuesday

Inner Voice15

Please refer to my other post

 

 

 


1025 Wednesday

Marketing Class16

Today’s marketing class is one of the few I paid full attention, throughout the whole 43- minutes class.

Why? Because the professor introduced an interesting idea: it’s the best time as a student to do something. Join a non-profit, advocate for social causes, be crazy…

Because our value is $0 = nothing (or could be probably negative, has to pay loan).

If you straightly go to find a corporate job and earn $30,000, the time you feel that you don’t belong there and want to do something aligns with your passion, there is a $30,000 opportunity cost that you have to give up, not to mention the resources, struggles, financial concerns, even family issues…

But now, you, I, we are students. We have nothing to win, also nothing to lose. Beginning from 0, no matter what we want to add, we always get a positive gain

I feel so excited after hearing that.

The money will eventually, and definitely be an inescapable concept sooner or later for anyone, everyone, but you still have time. You still have the most intangible asset – your time and young age.

Who knows what will happen after a year, ten years?

All I want right now is keeping writing, keeping doing this challenge, and keeping spreading the message I want to share to the world.


1026 Thursday

Comment17

After finishing the post about why I open this blog at midnight, I went straightly to sleep, fulfilled and grateful. This morning I woke up, those likes from people lost – thank everyone for understanding and appreciating. Those mean a lot to me.

What is more inspiring is that I clicked into y’all’s blogs – so many contagious words, so many insightful opinions, and so much touching experience… so many souls, so brave and talented to tell your own stories in your own way. And I am so glad finally joined, to become one of the community.

Math

For more than two hours I have been stuck in this statistic homework problem. No matter how eager I want to crack it, I just, couldn’t. For an Asian, a Chinese with years of crazy math-day-and-night training, I somewhat feel ashamed to tell others that I failed “these easy math…(actually not that easy, and I did past AP Calculus with the full score) .”

It reminded me of days in my high school in my Physics class. My super smart classmate sitting next to me raised her hand every time the teacher asked a question; my mind, however, was a complete blank. The frustration feeling overwhelmed me at that time, just like right now.

But instead of blaming, I learn to accept myself.

Well, I’m just not good at Math, or not interested in it. 

If not coming to U.S, starting speaking a foreign language, and finding my talent in communicating and soft skills, I would probably still question my purpose of life and worth.

There is always a place waiting for me to contribute, probably not what most international students’ dominated STEM majors. I am still not sure what exactly it is, but I will keep the faith.


1023 Friday

Words18


Some conscious Chinese artists and therapist made a video How Harmful Verbal Abuse Bring to Children. They showed people those harmful phrases Chinese parents and teachers said to their kids.

The gif above is “猪脑子 = pig brain in Chinese = moron in English.” I choose this one because it’s not only impactful but also relatable. During my adolescence school years, I  witnessed several respectful teachers scolding students, exactly using this phrase with a dialect.

I’m grateful for that more and more become active and start making changes. Right now the education and family system are still immature in China, but it has been largely improved.

Always watching, always concerning.


1028 Saturday

Volunteer19

It’s UT Family Weekend and I, as a peer educator, volunteered to table with other educators together for CMHC.

Don’t laugh it’s my this semester’s first volunteer work. Also, it’s hard to imagine one whose freshman year volunteering weekly for at least two hours with tons of energy. Somehow, the older I grow, the less interested in “wasting” time on chatting and doing just for social good. And too old to remember the laughing, chatting with people, and thinking nothing else, study, social judgment, internship, food…

I listened to Andrea’s Mexico Thanksgiving holiday with a special pork stew and Mexican-style eggnog drinks, Alec’s little lawyer dream specialized in environmental law… What’s surprising that I became the person living in their ideal life – going back to China, flying to New York for Thanksgiving, and opening a Youtube Channel about my life in U.S…. In the past, I always had a feeling that my experience compared to others, worth nothing. As I recall my past and imagine the future, I forgot the amazing present I am living.

Racquetball

First time played Racquetball with my boyfriend together! I thought it was similar to badminton and tennis; and I am not bad at badminton, one type of sports Chinese students play during school (Chinese students play the same thing as American – basketball, soccer, etc. Sorry we don’t play ping-pong, although we have the best players).

How to say this.. I was not that type. Still fun though!

 

 

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