No matter how sad I was today, I still want to share this Ted Talk – Nature. Beauty. Gratitude, because there are always people worth believing and having a wonderful night.
Louie Schwartzberg’s stunning time-lapse photography, accompanied by powerful words from Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast, serves as a meditation on being grateful for every day.
” I actually had a really good day. We went to see a start-up company and got assigned a marketing project. My team members are randomly assigned together but seem so nice, approachable, and hardworking; the team manager is very responsible too. I really like it.
“However, when we were casually talking on the way home about things like careers, interests, classes, parties, socials… I suddenly got an uncomfortable feeling.
“There are so many times I want to stop their conversation.
“When one was talking about how hard one professor is that makes her got a C but she still likes the class so much; when they were sharing how they got 6 fake IDs in order to go to the bar and the bar-guy does not even look at IDs at all, when one was saying the elective class are so easy that she doesn’t study at all and get a 100….
“I controlled my urge to join the conversation. I felt I was so, so not belonged to them.
“Like, why I am trying to be that hard about myself, pursuing every opportunity and chance? Why I am not put much effort studying at all because that’s not my focus and yes it is showing off still get a high GPA? Why I push myself so hard to overachieve, to reflect, to connect the spiritual community?”
“Those are the words I, a business major, shared my frustration with my folks in the Theatre for Dialogue program. We are together creating a show and promoting healthy relationships for school’s Counseling and Mental Health Department.
“I just feel so lonely.”
You might assume me of feeling superior to them.
You got me wrong. I really like those people.
The team manager offered us the carpool, committed to friend-bonding, and led the discussion with the start-up manager when we were at a lost; the one really likes psychology and listen to others’ talking very compassionately; the other young took 7 courses in order to double major…
And what they are talking is completely normal.
That is what college should be.
Or the way I will choose to live if I could go back to my freshman year.
Of course, I was lying.
There is no who is superior, but I want to live a different life.
I want to experience, explore, embrace, to feel the fullness of the life.
So many words, thoughts that I feel my peers don’t understand.
People at my 20-year-old age don’t contemplate the meaning of life.
No. Don’t be ridiculous.
Life has no meaning. We just give meanings to our life in order to justify our decisions.
I know I am still childish, immature, and naive. Haven’t experienced the hardness of life and already start to think about those ideal, unwanted ideas.
It’s just like the character Hat we tried to embody today – enthusiastic about life, passionate and energetic, want to get in touch with everything, but fear of commitment, being trapped, finally turning into self-denial and self-criticize (If you are so into psychology, you know I am talking about ENFP, or Enegream type 7).
Knowing does not mean solving the problem.
The truth is real, so is the emotion.
I don’t know what to do. A sense of helpless dragged me to the very bottom in the middle of the sunny afternoon.
And for a while, I stuck there and feel so, so, so overwhelmed because my emotions are so full without an outlet to run through.
I am a junior already. I need to settle down and find a job to pay back my parents. Yes, my parents support me whatever I want to be but there is an obligation, there is a belief that I need to do the right thing, or every middle-class international Chinese student should do.
However, I still believe that I could combine real life and dream by becoming a marketing professor and pursuing my self-expressive passion. Actually, it works because I am good at both, or good at a lot of things.
I believe my life waits for a true calling. And the world waits for my uniqueness to and create an impact.
I believe there is a place that I could use my voices to help people and develop deeper connections.
My folks encouraged me to become a drama therapist, using art and expression to help lost people.
How about you? How are you feeling today? What do you believe?
Leave a comment and I hope the Ted Talk gives you a bit energy boost;)
Daily Prompt Believe