Failure of challenge, but winning of a new beginning

About a month ago, I started a really simple cooking beginning challenge. However, after two posts, actually I did three times, I discontinued to put those photos and share the recipes.

Two of my roommates love cooking so much that I still remember last semester, every Saturday I went home at night, the savory smell associated with yellow warm light will infuse in the kitchen. two creating colorful dishes. Water boiling, forks and knives clattering, all together shouting for happiness.

Oh, what a lovely home.

But I failed. I failed to continue the cooking challenge. It’s not that I did not cook anymore. I cooked almost every day a meal in this winter break. Sometimes it’s tasteless; sometimes it’s a little bit salty; all of them can be taken in good pictures.

But I still gave up the challenge. 

The reason is so simple – I am not a food lover. I always appreciate people have a passion for food, cook a whole meal for people they loved. Sadly it is not me. I just see food as basic energy source supporting me think and explore more.

I always appreciate people have a passion for food, cook a whole meal for people they loved. Sadly it is not me. I just see food as basic energy source supporting me think and explore more. But it is not saying I cannot cook. I would search a detailed menu if my boyfriend wishes so(thankfully he’s not food lover too). Then the idea of cooking transforms to the idea of loving. The image of wearing a light white apron, holding a pot, suddenly my loved hugs me from the back… It’s more than cooking itself, it becomes a time two spending together.

Actually, I want to do something else. I recently utilized my extrovert intuition (a typical ENFP would do) to search every article I could find online about life coach. There’s actually an IIN program –Integrated Nutrition Institute teaching people doing nutrition business to empower wellness and happiness. Though it’s not my niche, I still fully appreciate the fact that people are pursuing something more meaningful beyond.

That brings to today.

I am an international student. It’s sooooo freaking hard to get hired in U.S. It’s not how desperately I want to stay, just after a year and a half I finally realize the major of America – everything is possible, and the power of the individual. 

It is never imaged in China, the “high context” society one judge another for job title, salary, political power, family relation, birth place… I still have a habit asking newly met Chinese where do they come from. Why? Because in our country with a large population it is the fastest and easily way to make a small, close connection. So are American people. They will like each other if both come from El Paso(I make this one as an example because the name of this city sounds so exotic to me). But unlike China, all the outside attributes will not cover the inner identity.

I could just major in Computer Science and Engineering, even Accounting, trying so hard to networking (I am naturally born good at), maintain a higher GPA, get hired, and follow a path, entry level analyst, senior, manager… And the end of story. But my inner heart is shouting, struggling, and crying hard. That is not what I want to do. I want to share my voices, connect with each individual deeply, inspire others to find their passion(even though I am still on a long journey). I know my passion lies in business, communication, education, technology….just not the traditional way.

Today having brunch with two buddies, I asked them a question:

If you have plenty money, you could choose a job, what do you want to do?

Du said he would like to be a museum manager, a curator, to take care of those historical relics and manage tourists. “You must be reading a lot of books when you were young.” I profiled him successfully. Marc said he would travel around the world, take natural photographies. “But not alone” He commented awkwardly. None of them major in Museum studies or  Photojournalism – they have to balance the dream and reality. But what makes me still have a little hope for this society is that Du is more research-focused and chooses Management Information System. His personality, the hope of managing companies through data still fits the category of preserving and analyzing. Marc is a part-time magazine’s photojournalist. On weekends he would go outside alone, take photos of mountains and rivers. This spring break he also applies a road trip to the national park!

If I have plenty money, I could choose a job, what do I want to do?

I told them I want to teach Chinese as a way to travel the world, learn different cultures, and meet different people. I want to know their stories, their passions, and different perspectives. So far, I achieved a little bit thanks to my parents. Japan, Kenya, U.S, Greece in this May, but I really need a job, a job I could use my strengths to support myself and achieve my goal.

I want to be a life coach. And this is my ultimate goal – to empower people.

Reiterated again and again in my mind, it’s time to get back into reality.

With a little hope sparking.







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A 20-year-old ENFP looking for likely-minded people

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